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The Art of Dating | FabEllis
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The Art of Dating | FabEllis

by Lina Clémence
written by Lina Clémence


Sis,

Do men still complain about the cost of dating these days? This thought came to me last week because if you follow me online, I have been outside a lot these days. From art galleries to music events, I have been going out and enjoying myself. All of the events I have been to lately have been free and several have even had free alcohol as well. This is why the question of complaining about the cost of dates came to mind for me recently. I have been married for almost nine years and one thing my husband and I have been big on since day one is continuing to have fun and date each other.


With us, we’ve always prioritized dating, but dates do not have to be expensive. In the earliest years of us being together, we used Groupon frequently to try new places in Greensboro and Raleigh. We were two people in our twenties still trying to figure out life, but in the midst of us trying to figure out life, we made spending time a priority. Spending time together never has to cost a lot of money. One of our favorite dates til this day is going to the movies on Tuesdays because Regal has Discount Tuesdays. Plus, we look for new experiences like, No Skips, that we recently went to, which was such a dope music experience and it was completely free.
New experiences are out there if you’re willing to look for them. That’s what this month’s reflection is really centered on. New experiences do not have to be costly. While we love going going out together, I have embraced doing more things solo. In the last couple of months, I have gone out to coffee shops to get work done, a local networking event for women and even shot content solo. Going to the networking event alone felt a little awkward, but I pushed myself to go, I met several great women from the area and in the end, I was glad that I went.

If I can leave you with something, I want to leave this… Date yourself and date your person. Look for more in this life and be willing to try new things. I grew up in a household where a lot of the people around me placed limitations on themselves due to religion as well as what I feel were their own fears. Because of this, I lived in a lot of fear of doing new things until my mid-twenties. Something clicked in me one day that I knew there was more to this life and this world than what I’d seen and I wanted to explore more of it.

I want that for everyone around me. I want you to want more. What more is will be different for everyone, but I want you to know that you don’t have to ever limit yourself. Also, don’t limit yourself due to money. Being an entrepreneur like I am often places me on a budget, but I don’t let that limit me or my experiences. I find events that are free and I go out there. I hope this will encourage you to go out there too sis.

All artwork is by Beverly McIver and is currently on display at CAM Raleigh in Downtown Raleigh, North Carolina.

What is a free or affordable activity you enjoy doing?

God bless & stay fab,




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Safe Spaces for Everyone | FabEllis

by Lina Clémence
written by Lina Clémence


Sis,

A few years ago, it was brought to my attention that a lot of my friends are a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. It was an observation spoken, not in a malicious way, but it was noticed. I suppose as a Christian and someone who identifies as heterosexual, it may be something that others didn’t quite understand. I kind of laughed at the observation at the time, but when I thought more in depth about it, I realized what they stated was a fact. Many of my friends do identify as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. 


The reality for me is that I love people. I love all people. I grew up in a home where I never really felt comfortable to be my authentic self so I masked a lot of my quirks and intricacies to make it easier for others to understand me (i.e. people pleasing). While I realize sexuality is not a quirk, I do believe it’s a part of who you are and I’ve always felt I wanted to accept people for who and where they are. I never wanted to make any one feel judged or unable to be their complete, full selves around me. 

I want everyone I encounter to feel like they have a safe space with me. Safe spaces are so needed in this day and sadly, so many of us do not have them. I want to be able to provide that for many. Growing up in the South in the traditional Baptist church, the approach to the gay community at that time from what I’d seen was to shun and even sometimes embarrass gay attendees. I have heard stories more than a few times from friends about being called out by preachers in front of the congregation and made to feel like a spectacle. 

I do not think this is what Christianity is. I feel that God loves everyone. We are to love people and not judge them. At the end of the day, what do you think will have the most impact? Love or ridicule? As Pride Month comes to a close, I want to share a few film recommendations that really helped me learn about the history of the LGBTQIA+ community and movement.

I first started diving into learning more about the community back during quarantine and I’ve learned so much in the last few years. I think to better understand others, you have to learn more about their history. I hope that these films, if you haven’t seen them yet, will leave you more enlightened.

1. Paris is Burning (MAX, Amazon Prime)

2. The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson (Netflix)

3. The Inspection (On Demand)

4. POSE (Hulu)

This is one of my favorite shows and if you watch Paris is Burning, you will see how much the show is based on real stories and experiences.

What documentaries and movies would you recommend for those wanting to learn more about the LGBTQIA+ community?

God bless and stay fab,


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Write an title about: Where’s the Love? | FabEllis

by Lina Clémence
written by Lina Clémence



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Sis,

Is this a safe space? I have to be honest in saying that making creative friends over the last few years has been incredibly hard for me. I hate to say that, but I believe there is power in being honest. Being a creative is such a unique experience because we have our quirks, we have our art forms we love and some of the world just does not understand what we do and why we do it. That’s why having creative friends as a creative is so key. You need people that get you and most importantly, see you. They see the beauty in what you love and why you choose to create.

Knowing the importance of having community within the creative world is why I originally built the Triad Women Bloggers Network several years ago. I know how essential it is to have a place where creatives can come together, learn and talk about our journeys with people that truly understand. Although the group is deactivated, I still know the significance of finding your creative community. That has been my personal struggle over the last few years.

In fact, it has been a pain point I have often brought up in therapy. I currently do not feel I have creative friends that I can turn to for support and that’s hard. It wasn’t always this way, but I slowly started to see a change over the last year. I’ve seen creative friends that supported me heavily online for years slowly stop their support. I understand that people have lives outside of social media and the algorithm does not always show our content, but this was different.

It went from people showing lots of support via comments and likes to simply just occasional likes yet I would see those same people commenting on mutual friends’ posts constantly. Where did the love go? It caused me to withdraw a bit last year to really take time to reflect. It still hurts somewhat because you begin to think, were these ever really my friends or were they just getting what they needed from me at the time? I may never know, but I did learn a few things about myself in the process.

I had to learn to stop over giving. I’m so big on supporting other creatives that I was often blind to the fact that that support was repeatedly one-sided. I had to learn to fall back on that. I also learned that at my core, I do have a big heart for people in general. There will never be anything wrong with that, but with that, people can take advantage. Your discernment has to be on point and you have to know not to ignore it. 

As much as I love being a creative, I’ve had a few times where being online has reminded me of high school. I was never in the in crowd in high school and I often feel the same about social media. However, I had a few close friends in high school that meant so much to me and I’m hoping that one day I will find those same creative friends today. The journey has been hard, but it’s most certainly not over. Here’s to manifesting I connect to the right people this year… 

How do you connect with other creatives? Any recommendations on where to meet fellow creatives?

God bless & stay fab,



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